Since the non-essential shops have been closed for the last 3 months I haven’t really had a chance to do much shopping- tell a lie, online shopping has left me broke! But what I mean is I haven’t really been doing much wedding shopping. To be honest I haven’t been in the mood to really do any wedding related activities simply because there’s so much uncertainty, I don’t know what’s happening, will I get married? Will I postpone? I have no idea. To be totally honest I felt quite deflated and negative. God bless my better half for keeping my spirits high and always thinking positively when that was the last thing I could do.

It is now June. And everyone around me has started to say things are looking up, shops are ready to open and the pandemic is somewhat calming down (2021 me is laughing at this comment right now), yet we are far from being out of the worst yet. This is the first time in months I’ve actually felt quite positive and feel like this wedding is actually happening.

This is when I literally got out my wedding planner, my (many) to do lists and a good pen! It’s time to get this show back on the road. I started off by making to do lists- one for each month leading up to the wedding and what I was hoping to purchase and when. 

Once his suit was done I went on to purchasing other bits and bobs. We also gift a watch, cufflinks, shoes, a belt, a tie etc. My husband left most of that to me, which I didn't mind; he did choose his shoes though.  Once I started purchasing his things I was really on it, ticking off my to do lists left right and centre! The feeling of this was so thrilling and I could finally feel like I'm getting married! 

Not only did I make those purchases but I also went on to purchasing home stuff. As we will be moving to another house shortly after the wedding, I didn’t really need any big furniture as of yet. Another Bangladeshi tradition is that the bride’s family would give her, her bedroom furniture and any other furniture requested by her in laws. This was one huge thing off my shoulders…. For now. Anyways I still went on to purchase a duvet, pillows, throws etc. I also picked up a couple of duvet covers and one special one for the wedding week! I also picked up a couple of lamps and other things to spruce up the room.

It is now the beginning of July, I feel like I’ve done quite a bit in regards to the wedding shopping and only have a handful of things to purchase. I am just waiting for my dresses to arrive now so then I can go ahead and accessorise them. I have also managed to finally sort out the gold I want. I’ve opted for a simple necklace and 4 thin bangles and two thicker bangles to accompany them. I didn’t want gold earrings or a gold ring as I knew that would be a waste of money as I would wear neither. 

Isn't it funny how a little bit of shopping can uplift your spirits so much... eek! Alhamdulillah things are finally looking up! 

I don't know why but I've always wanted to get married in 2020... by the Grace of God I was fortunate enough to have my wedding fall on 2020. 

I am writing this on the 1^st of May 2020, we are in the midst of a global pandemic. Many countries are on lockdown and we are now on day 39 of the lockdown here in the UK. So much uncertainty has transpired around us. It’s such an awful, heart-breaking situation that we are in right now. So many lives have been lost, families have been hurt and broken, and nobody could have thought that the world could have changed so quickly.

During the year there are peak times which have been named as “wedding season” we have one during the February holidays, Easter Holidays during April- which is 2 weeks of non-stop weddings, possibly one during the one week of May if Ramadan doesn’t fall in it and then obviously we have the summer wedding season which goes from the last week of July to the very last week of August- throughout the whole of summer basically. Unfortunately, due to the pandemic I have read of so many April brides having to cancel their weddings with little notice. It was so heart-breaking to see how they were so ready but just could not go ahead with it for health, safety and wellbeing reasons, which is highly understandable. 

I have interacted with so many beauties during this time on my Instagram and they shared their hurt with me. Not only were their weddings cancelled but they also had to go through the pain of asking for deposits back, rearranging dates, postponing their actual events and some even went to straight up cancelling. During this time you can only imagine how stressful it was, I was further saddened to hear how so many MUAs, Vendors and Venues simply refused money back. I just couldn’t believe how people were being refused of their hard earned money. Everyone needs to make a living yes, but this issue just simply could not be avoided. Who would ever want to cancel their weddings intentionally? They were forced to do so due to environmental factors and therefore, they should not have been questioned about the return of their money. I also understand this is a completely new situation and no one really knows how to deal with it.
 Anyways Alhamdulillah some of you guys came back to me later and said that you have received either all or some of your deposit back. 

So far I had been getting everything just how I wanted. None of my plans had strayed from my original vision, so there I went to look at cakes hand in hand with all my boards and visions. I had looked at so many cake designs, shapes, colours, styles and companies. The cake had to be just right! I went in wanting a 4 tier fondant cake for the wedding and a 2 tier cushion cake for the mehndi and here’s what I came out with;

Firstly, I was recommended by my venue to go and look at cakes at a company called @Juscakes. I had seen them around on Instagram and they have exceptional work, very beautiful and intricate designs. We made an appointment for a Saturday at 3pm but unfortunately we were running late due to my impromptu Mehndi dress shopping! We called up Kamal bhai from Juscakes and he kindly moved our appointment to 5pm. My eldest brother and bhabi kindly went along with me to the appointment.

We got to the shop and the overwhelming smell of fresh cakes hit us like a tonne of bricks! It smelt simply divine. We sat with Kamal bhai and he was ready to write down all my ideas. I started off by telling him how I wanted a fondant cake to which he said that they’re not so popular for Bengali weddings. They can get quite sweet and the pricing could get high too. He then went on to suggest I go for a cream cake. I was quite apprehensive to go along with this only because my cousin brother had his wedding a year ago in the end of July and he too had a cream cake. His cake started to melt before the night was over and I did NOT want this to happen to my cake. Once I explained this to Kamal bhai he went on to guarantee me that he had created cream cakes of this calibre for many a weddings and even had one go out for the hottest day of the year. He would be at the venue to take personal responsibility of this. I was still umming and arring but my brother and bhabi were feeling the idea too. I then went on to looking at photos they had of previous work and fell in love with a particular 4 tiered, cream cake with slight engraving. I knew I wanted something like this. 

Once that was decided Kamal bhai started to design my cake, everything from the flowers I would have as décor and to the bespoke cake stand, he drew it all out before my very eyes. During the design process we also got the chance to have a cheeky complimentary cake tasting! Eeek I was so excited. We got to try three flavours, chocolate, Victoria sponge and red velvet. The cakes were divine; from the mouth-watering fluffy texture to the array of flavours, it was really good and it confirmed to me that I was going for the right cake. We chose to have two sets of flavours, two tiers would be the Victoria sponge and two tiers would be red velvet. We decided to go for 2 different ones only so both families can have the best of both worlds at the end of the wedding when they take the cake home. So Alhamdulillah that was the wedding cake sorted. We would also be receiving a personalised cake knife and server too- how nice?!

Now I know some of you might be thinking, how is this girl doing everything on her own and not consulting or going with her in laws or fiancé? Well to be quite honest my in laws told me from the start to go and do everything the way I want because they trust my vision. My fiancé has also said that he likes my style of work and I have a keen eye for good things so he was able to put all trust in me due to this. I also think he is a typical guy who is not bothered to sit and look at 101 things and rather just go in and pick the first thing available to him lol. Once I had found the cake I was going for and prior to paying a deposit and finalising things I did consult with my in laws and they loved the design and flavours I went for. Only then did I go and make the deposit and finalise the order.

Moving on it was now time to talk about my Mehndi cake. I originally wanted to go for a two tiered fondant cushion cake. Once again I was told not to go for fondant for the same reasons as above. The cushion cakes would be fondant and ALSO highly coloured so it only made sense. Instead Kamal Bhai once again designed a cake for me from scratch. Instead of having the whole thing as cushions he suggested I go for a cream cake base but he would still create some cushions for me to go on the top of the cake so I get the best of both worlds, how could I be upset with this decision? I haven’t yet seen this on their page so in’sha’Allah it comes out great. I just need to get back to him with my theme and colour of my outfit so he can co-ordinate it with the cake.

And that was that Alhamdulillah another thing ticked off the list. All this cake talk is making me want to have some cake now...!

*Disclaimer- these posts were written at the start of 2020 or during times when restrictions were relaxed. Some of the things mentioned such as family gatherings, indoor shopping etc. were acceptable at the time

Once again this was done far quicker than I thought it would be.  I feel like I got really lucky when looking for my outfits or maybe I was just well prepared. Once I knew I was going to get married I pretty much bought out the big guns and started creating mood boards, Pinterest boards etc. for all of my events. This made it so much easier as it literally gave me a vision I knew I would work with. Sometimes you do stray from your original idea but I didn’t find that happen with me so much, but when it did I just went with the flow.

The day I went to find my mehndi dress it was a much quieter day. My mum, my sister in law and little niece came along with me. We actually went to look for my gold only but my mum insisted on checking out the mehndi outfit too. I didn’t think I would make a decision on this day as I had an appointment with the cake company I was going to go with at 3pm and it was already 1:30. I thought I would come back the next day which is a Sunday to have a proper browse but to mine and everyone’s surprise I didn’t need to.

When I thought about my Mehndi I had visions of bright colours and lots of work. I wanted it to be a colourful soiree and I wasn’t really strict with what everyone else would wear as long as it was bright mehndi colours. I went with this vision in mind. Once again I also knew that I would want my outfit from Doli for the same reasons as mentioned in my wedding dress post. It was mostly because of peace of mind. I knew what I was getting with them. I also had a sneak peak of the mehndi outfits available during my wedding dress shopping so sort of had an idea of what to expect.

So we went into the shop and the wonderful lady called Deepika she was so, so lovely, welcoming and she worked closely with me for my Wedding dress fitting too. She welcomed us into the shop warmly and introduced us to the lovely range of outfits they had. They had some beautiful pieces that had just come in so I was spoilt for choice! I saw an outfit on the mannequin that I loved but the colours didn’t align to my choice. I was reassured that they can do whatever colour and customise it to my liking. I completely fell in love with one of the outfits. I don’t know if this outfit has a specific name to it but it’s basically a two piece. A long kameez top with a flowy skirt. It was stunning and the original colour combo was already so beautiful and I would buy it just like that but it wasn’t really mehndi-y. I tried the outfit on and it fit like a glove, I just fell in love with it! You know when they say you just know when it’s the one, I felt this with my wedding dress and now with my mehndi dress too. The photo on the right isn't of my outfit, but these are the colour I envisioned for my Mehndi. I loved all things bright and beautiful! 

That was the design sorted. Next Deepika took my measurements and we went over any changes I wanted. I didn’t stray too much from the original but I explained my vision to her. The Kameez was fully done up with work and had a combination of beading and thread work. I decided to change the colour of the top to Fuschia pink with forest green threading. I also went for a forest green dupatta and skirt. My mum also suggested adding a boarder to the skirt which I didn’t really see the point of only because I’d be sitting most of the time, but I guess it will look nice in the photos. We went through a colour chart and chose the colours I wanted- Doli has a wide range of options and so much to choose from. Once all the final details were sorted that was it, my plans were ready to go to India and a new custom outfit was ready to be made for me!

After I knew how my outfit would look, I went on to looking for a bouquet. I looked around for a little bit and found the wonderful @flower_powerbridal on Instagram. Her work looked stunning! And she is very popular with all things flower based! 
I ordered my bouquet BEFORE my dress even arrived. I just gave my vision to the lovely sister and liaised with her through Instagram messages. She kept coming back to me with updates and variations. She also played around with the design quite a bit until it looked right. Alhamdulillah she took my vision and bought it alive. I sent her photos of how I wanted my bouquet to look and described how my outfit would look too. She delivered exactly when she said she would.  
I ordered my bouquet BEFORE my dress even arrived. I just gave my vision to the lovely sister and liaised with her through Instagram messages. She kept coming back to me with updates and variations. She also played around with the design quite a bit until it looked right. Alhamdulillah she took my vision and bought it alive. I sent her photos of how I wanted my bouquet to look and described how my outfit would look too. She delivered exactly when she said she would.  
At this point the news of Covid just kept coming in thick and strong. We didn't know what was happening and all the news about lockdowns etc. was coming to light. I was so glad I managed to send off both my wedding and mehndi outfits to get made... even if we don't have a wedding at least we'll have everything in place for when we do!

Ahh wedding dress shopping! Would you believe if I told you that I had found the ONE on my second time dress shopping? Alhamdulillah! I was never the type to have every detail of my wedding planned from A-Z but the wedding dress is something I was very, very particular about. I knew what colours I wanted what style and cut everything to a t basically. One day, many moons ago, before I even had someone to marry, I saw something online and I knew that’s what I wanted as my wedding dress. So since then I had pinterest-ed so many ideas around this dress and Alhamdulillah I got exactly what I wanted!

My cousins and sister in law encouraged me to look at other shops so we also browsed a few in the East Shopping Centre. I went into Zarkan, I saw a few and actually even liked one. The lady in the store was giving me bad vibes though. There was no privacy even during changing, she didn’t allow me to take my family member in but instead she came in and helped me. Nice of her but I found this quite intrusive. Regardless of that I did like the dress as in the shape etc. but a lot of work would need to be done to get it exactly how I wanted it. Thankfully I didn’t end up going back to this shop, a week and a half later I went past the shop to realise it’s completely EMPTY! No trace of the shop existing at all. There was an uproar online too, it seems like the company had gone bust and the store had shut down. Many brides were left without their bridal gowns and it was all a big mess. I knew my gut feeling was right and something was off. I’m just surprised how they still encouraged me to pay upfront for the outfit under two weeks prior to going bust.

Moving over, I then went into Doli. This was the one store I was so, so hopeful in. Nearly everyone in my family has purchased their dress from Doli, we’ve worked with them countless times over the years so we know exactly what to expect. I was very excited to go in and have a cheeky browse. Their dress selection was HUGE. The whole of the upstairs is all about bridal gowns. It’s so beautiful when you walk in. Unlike Zarkan they give you the privacy you need but obviously there is a no photos policy- which is understandable. So on day 1 of dress shopping I tried about 3 dresses in Doli. Unfortunately, once again I couldn’t find exactly what I was looking for. It was mostly the colour combination I was looking for that I just couldn’t find. There were some gorgeous pieces and my family really made me feel a million dollars in all of them but my heart was simply set on a specific style/design and colour.

After day one of dress shopping I wasn’t so disheartened as I wasn’t expecting to find anything anyways and we ended the day at Chaii Wala and flicking through Asiana. It was simply a browse. We then planned on to potentially go to Southall even though that’s really not what I wanted. I was also meaning to go and check out Ilford Lane but time just didn’t allow it.

Fast-forward 2 weeks later I went for the actual dress shopping. I knew I would have to decide something today as everyone around me was saying time was running out. This time round I literally took everyone- my mum, both sister in laws, niece and nephew, 2 of my cousins, an aunt you name it. I decided I wanted to go to Doli again, find a gown that was there and change the colour etc to make it how I wanted. Ideally I really just wanted to see the dress I wanted there as I didn’t feel so comfortable in making so many changes as it was hard to envision how it would come out, this was one of my main worries and if I was going to get my dress completely done from scratch I would only trust Doli. So I went there again feeling a little disheartened. Oh how I was surprised, the second I walked in I found THE dress hanging up. It was even the colour I wanted. The dupatta was different to my imagination so I paired it with another one they had instore.

So what did I want?!

I wanted a beige-y gold gown with a trail which wasn’t that long. The duppata would be contrasting in a maroon red colour. I couldn’t find this anywhere despite having seen it everywhere online! I was getting so frustrated. But Alhamdulillah I really did get lucky. The second I put the dress on I just felt it, it felt like it was for me. The colour, the shape everything was perfect and so me! Everyone in the room knew it too. It’s funny actually as my cousins got to the shop before me, saw the outfit hung and knew that’s exactly what I wanted. When I walked in they were like “there’s your dress” I was pleasantly surprised! I was so relieved Alhamdulillah. Apparently this dress just came in the day before, so it was meant to be! I took heels similar to the ones I would potentially wear on the day. I also took a maroon red hijab with me too- prepared yes! Because I did this I was somewhat envisioning how the whole look will be like on the day. Everyone loved the look as much as I did and that just made the whole day better! I was lucky on the day to have the whole of the bridal area just for me and my family for most of the time I was there. During the end of my fitting other people started coming and they kept complimenting me in the outfit which made me feel amazing as well as you can imagine. Other people loved how I paired the shade of hijab with it too! I gave my measurements, chose the final details and I was done! All in under 2 hours Alhamdulillah. The pic above is the two dupattas, the right one came with the dress and the left was an example of the material and the colour I wanted. My in laws went the next day, paid the deposit and there we have it my wedding dress was picked out and about to be shipped abroad ready to be created just for me!

*Disclaimer- these posts were written at the start of 2020 or during times when restrictions were relaxed. Some of the things mentioned such as family gatherings, indoor shopping etc. were acceptable at the time

See you in part 5 where the Mehndi fun begins…

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