Bengali Bridal Diary- Stuck in the middle of a Pandemic, do we or don’t we?
I don't know why but I've always wanted to get married in 2020... by the Grace of God I was fortunate enough to have my wedding fall on 2020.
I am writing this on the 1st of May 2020, we are in the midst of a global pandemic. Many countries are on lockdown and we are now on day 39 of the lockdown here in the UK. So much uncertainty has transpired around us. It’s such an awful, heart-breaking situation that we are in right now. So many lives have been lost, families have been hurt and broken, and nobody could have thought that the world could have changed so quickly.
During the year there are peak times which have been named as “wedding season” we have one during the February holidays, Easter Holidays during April- which is 2 weeks of non-stop weddings, possibly one during the one week of May if Ramadan doesn’t fall in it and then obviously we have the summer wedding season which goes from the last week of July to the very last week of August- throughout the whole of summer basically. Unfortunately, due to the pandemic I have read of so many April brides having to cancel their weddings with little notice. It was so heart-breaking to see how they were so ready but just could not go ahead with it for health, safety and wellbeing reasons, which is highly understandable.
I have interacted with so many beauties during this time on
my Instagram and they shared their hurt with me. Not only were their weddings
cancelled but they also had to go through the pain of asking for deposits back,
rearranging dates, postponing their actual events and some even went to
straight up cancelling. During this time you can only imagine how stressful it
was, I was further saddened to hear how so many MUAs, Vendors and Venues simply
refused money back. I just couldn’t believe how people were being refused of
their hard earned money. Everyone needs to make a living yes, but this issue
just simply could not be avoided. Who would ever want to cancel their weddings
intentionally? They were forced to do so due to environmental factors and
therefore, they should not have been questioned about the return of their
money. I also understand this is a completely new situation and no one really knows how to deal with it.
Anyways Alhamdulillah some of you guys came back to me later and said
that you have received either all or some of your deposit back.
During around the end of March and beginning of April, I wasn’t really stressing or even thinking that this pandemic may affect my wedding in August, simply because it’s so far away and things would have calmed down by then. I said this and reassured myself as well as many of you on Instagram too. But truth be told it’s now the start of May and yes Alhamdulillah things are calming down but there’s really no way to tell how this situation will pan out. We might be super lucky to have this illness surpassed, the lockdown may calm down but there are so many things in play. My sister in law and I sat down and noted down the many possibilities of what to potentially expect and the outcomes of it.
What could happen?
The lockdown still in place: this is unlikely as they’re already talking about relaxing measures, but if this is the case for some reason, we will just have to hold off and postpone the wedding. If I do end up postponing we will look in to changing our dates for December or even maybe next April.
Relaxed measures: Another possibility may be that the lockdown may be relaxed with reduced number of guests allowed only e.g potentially 50/ 100 or 200 guest limit- if the minimum number of 50 or below is allowed, we will just have a simple, low key nikkah at home for the mean time with our immediate family members only, this would be such a blessing in disguise and so lovely to share this intimate time with only a handful of people. We can go on to continue on with the Walima when it’s safe to do so. If we have a limit of 200 people we may choose to go ahead with the walima once again, numbers will have to be slashed to only the people who really need to/ should be there, and this includes our close friends and family. With 100 guests each. This might be problematic though because many of his close family are spread out in two countries abroad and they were planning to come over for the wedding. If we do decide to go ahead with it, they won’t be here to see us tie the knot. So we need to be considerate about this and think logistically.
Well there are my options. It all depends really and we can
only hope for the best. In’sha’Allah whatever happens will happen for the best.
I was a bit saddened by the prospect of possibly not being able to get married
when I want to but my other half Alhamdulillah he is so level headed and was
able to think realistically during the whole time.
As of now I have put a hold on any more planning, I’ve still
got so much to do but there’s hardly any shops opened and I don’t really feel confident
ordering things online e.g. his watch, ring and suit etc. these need to be seen
in person, chosen and purchased. In’sha’Allah things will calm down and we will
have our wedding when it’s safe to do so.
I have been telling my Insta girlies, keep your chin up,
continue planning the things you’re able to and stay positive. Even if we August
brides have to postpone we know there will be a wedding eventually...
I know this post has been a bit of a damper but that’s just
the reality of how it is now. To be honest if it's not a pandemic, there may be so many factors in ordinary times which draws a halt to our plans. Before ending this post I will share a few
positives thoughts for all brides struggling at this time too;
If we do have to postpone our wedding there is a silver lining, at least we will be able to have that extra time with our families. Extra time at home with our parents, siblings, nieces, nephews and grandparents. It will be nice to enjoy things that little bit more before the life of a wife, daughter in law, sister in law and many more responsibilities come down on us. All the lasts we thought we would be going through, maybe we’ll get to experience it for one last time and truly appreciate it. Many April brides who couldn’t have their wedding, they got the chance to experience their last Ramadan and Eid with their families, maybe your wedding date wouldn’t have allowed this but you have been given this one last chance to savour it.
*Disclaimer- these posts were written at the start of 2020 or during times when restrictions were relaxed. Some of the things mentioned such as family gatherings, indoor shopping etc. were acceptable at the time
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